We'd been talking about it all week. That's what happens when you have too much time and not enough people to gossip about. Add to that, the chocolate has been scant (part of a ploy to lose the awful spud induced blobs that have mysteriously coated my abdomen and backside over the last gluten free six months... I'm still coming to terms with bread-less days).
And then this past weekend I came across this article. Apparently, clothing brand Austin Reed conducted a poll trying to find out what women want in the perfect man... someone akin to TV Presenter Steve Jones.
Now I'm not completely averse to Mr. Jones and his kind, I just think that having certain expectations is setting yourself up for failure. My Mr. Jones certainly won't have all the characteristics listed in the publication - not because I don't want him to but because that's life. Not every man can be Steve Jones, in much the same way that not every woman can be Candice Swanepoel.
So according to 2000 female respondents, the perfect man is...
1. Six feet tall - Really? I never really put much thought into height but at 5'2 myself, that's quite tall.
2. Muscly, toned and athletic - *GRIN* although realistically speaking, I wouldn't expect it.
3. Brown eyes - Personally, I don't care. As long as he can see ME, it's all good.
4. Short dark hair - Well again I don't care. As long as he doesn't take longer to do his hair, than I take to do mine.
5. Smart dress sense - "Smart" is relative... as long as he's not Gay about it.
6. A beer / lager drinker - According to the survey, men who drink wine or spirits are a no-no. I'd prefer good old H2O.
7. Non smoker - I have to agree. Although a "smoker" would not be a deal breaker.
8. Wears smart jeans, shirt and a - This is what I call being Gay about it.
9. V-neck jumper - No man should put too much thought into his wardrobe. It should just happen naturally.
10. Gets ready in 17 minutes - Yeah, sounds good.
11. Stylish - More Gay-ness
12. Wants a family - This is a big one for me. Since I don't really want any kids, I don't know how this would fare with a potential partner. Although, I'm sure if I had the right partner, I might be open to the idea.
13. Earns £48,000 a year - That's roughly ZAR600 000 a year. Not a requirement for me. I don't care much about money but I love travelling and have a very long bucket list to go through... so we should at least be able to afford to do that a couple of times a year.
14. Loves shopping - Are we still talking about heterosexual men?
15. Eats meat - I'm not particular about this. As an adult, he can eat whatever he likes as long as it doesn't include other women.
16. Clean shaven - My personal preference, although I wouldn't mind stubble. However, moustaches went out around the same time Tom Selleck shot the final episode of Magnum PI.
17. Smooth chest - Don't really care, as long as he doesn't look like a monkey.
18. Watches soaps - Hahahahahahaha. Really? Hahahahaha. I want to beat some testosterone into those men who watch soaps willingly.
19. Enjoys watching football - I don't really mind if he wants to watch sport - but it has to be for the right reason. The only reason I ever watched football was for Michael Ballack's thighs. If he's watching football for the same reason, we have a problem.
20. Drives an Audi - This surprised me. I'm partial to Audi myself as a personal preference but I never judged a man based on what car he drove. Driving an Audi won't make your shlong any bigger so I don't get why it's a necessity.
21. Educated to degree level - This is only important for conversation purposes. However, keeping in mind that not every graduate can hold a conversation.
22. Earns more than you - This doesn't matter if we adhere to the old adage "what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine". Hahahaha. Seriously though, it shouldn't matter if we're working together towards the same goals.
23. Jokes around and has a laugh - Absolutely ESSENTIAL. Non negotiable. Too "serious" is a Deal Breaker.
24. Sensitive when you are upset - This man does not exist.
25. Tells you he loves you only when he means it - This would be greatly appreciated by most females. If only men like these existed.
26. Admits it when he looks at other women - Hahahahaha. This man doesn't exist either.
27. Holds a driving licence - Non negotiable. Unless there's a valid reason.
28. Can swim - Doesn't matter unless we're on the Titanic or the Costa Concordia.
29. Can change a tyre - Not essential but would be nice if he could.
30. Rings mum regularly - His relationship with his mother is his business, whether he calls her or not.
I can think of a few other details I'd add to this list...