Thursday, February 2, 2012

10 reasons why it's better to be a WOMAN...

10. You're not governed by an appendage and your whole life doesn't revolve around your pride, ego and groin.

9. You know what it means to care about someone else other than yourself (and your groin).

8. Your brain is perfectly lodged in your head (and not your groin).

7. Your heart isn't located in your groin.

6. You have a heart.

5. Even if he had two degrees and his groin had a PHD,  you'd still be more intelligent than he is.

4. You have no issues asking for directions so you won't ever have to wander around for hours, driving in circles.

3. You're not in denial about homosexuality and you know that anyone who wants to see two women together probably feels the same way about men - despite what they say.

2. Pathological lying isn't a part of your DNA.

1. Hell hath no fury... and I quote:

"If my husband had to cheat on me I'd go out, find someone with AIDS and fuck the life out of him. Then I'd go home and fuck him too before I tell him that I cheated. And then I'd hide his meds and we can both go ahead and DIE slowly." Can't beat that.

27 comments:

  1. No, no, no. You can't compare two women having sex with two men having sex. That's just crazy talk!

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  2. Are you saying all men are heartless?

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  3. GB
    See, now that is exactly what I'd expect males to say.

    TonyVH
    Certainly not all of them. Just most of them :)

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  4. salaam.

    lol, your blog is too cool. its lovely to revisit your blog after a while. loving the recent developments haha.

    couldnt help but ask you this,but, what scenario would you imagine if you were the one cheating on your husband ? and him and his ego found out about that ? ;P

    i hope you are well, by the way.

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  5. bayezid
    Wasalaam. Firstly, I'm not a cheater - the concept is completely foreign to me. If I wasn't happy with my husband, I'd tell him so. If I'm still not content after several attempts to make the marriage work, then I'd put an end to the union and move on.

    And if I was happy with him, then I wouldn't be looking at anyone else, no matter how "pretty" they are.

    But as for my opinion on the cheaters out there - both men and women - alls fair in love and war innit ;)

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  6. Wow, I didn't imagine that the 10 reasons why it's better to be a woman would have so much penis talk in it :)

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  7. Didn't get past title. Saw the word in caps and then my groin took over.

    "Roarrrr...Woman good. Two Woman better". *Thumps chest*

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  8. you dont seem to have the traits of a person that would cheat, given your straight forward nature. you seem to be someone that expresses herself quite well. real men would prefer that over the dimunitive deceitful ones any day. not saying all docile women are deceptive though.
    i really admire this quality of yours, even though you'll end up hurting the poor guys ego time to time lmao.
    but hey, despite that, i guarantee you, he'd appreciate you for it.

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  9. apologize for taking up more space on this page, but azra, trust me, i was married once, i know ...... men and women can both cheat.

    and sometimes you cant really blame the other one. its circumstances. i hate the idea of cheating like i hate the feeling of bile burning in my bloodstream, but ive come to understand that if the spouse that cheated was a good person, its worth forgiving him/her for it. i was so not prepared for drama.

    oh well, what comforts me is that the other person aint my property, and the best i can do is what i can do.
    and of course, its not worth ruining ourselves for the mistakes our spouses make.

    besides, i dont think any of us would want azra going to jail. now that would be a catastrophe.

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  10. @ candide

    easy there, tiger. cold shower. now.

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  11. So THAT's why it's better to be a woman.

    (I'm with you Gorilla Bananas - no comparison at all)

    But as to the AIDS thing, would a woman really want to die with her cheating husband? See, that's why I don't really understand women.

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  12. I'm speechless. Good thing I don't have a heart or I would feel something. Someone bright and ever so charming once said to me, 'Randy, how come you're so cynical?' :(

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  13. I'm not sold on any of these reasons. Being a woman sounds like too much effort.

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  14. Azra,

    Some men have a heart and its in the right place. Funny how so many women arnt looking for that particular trait in a man in the beginning of life. Maybe its because they already expected men to have that basic equipment for a successful relationship.

    Dean
    http://leftcoastguy.com

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  15. Diedre
    Can't be helped - for some men it's quite applicable.

    ipenka
    LOL, perhaps you'd want to join Mr. Gorilla Bananas in his jungle?

    bayezid
    In SA it seems most men prefer the diminutive deceitful types. Any woman who speaks her mind is a no-no. I find that common among the Asian communities here.
    My aim and purpose in life is not to hurt some guy or bruise his ego. I come across much more strong and defiant on my blog and online than I am in real life. All I really want (as most people do) is respect and appreciation.

    Candide
    I am indeed a woman. What type of woman I am depends on the man :)

    LL
    When it comes to revenge, there is no logic or reason. I see Mr. Gorilla Bananas has yet another candidate to take up residence in the Jungle :)

    RCB
    Yes Randy, why are you so cynical? And speechless, why? It's not like it's completely false. I see this list as an outline. I know there are exceptions - however few they may be. It's a good thing you never read this blog back in 2008 when I was recovering from a break up hahahaha.

    MoviesOMM
    Being a woman is indeed a full time job, but being a man isn't all that wonderful either. Reckon we could all become eunuchs? haha

    LCG
    You make an excellent point Dean. Perhaps we expect too much from each other and maybe as women, we believe or expect men to have all the answers - not realising that they are human and fallible too. That said, we are very different species but at the same time, we're all just human and every human has their own set of values, priorities, beliefs etc. regardless of whether they're male or female. What makes a person great is who they are and what they contribute to the world, and not their gender :)

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  16. 2008... well, I'm gonna have a look right now. Wait, first a drink. Sounds like I'm gonna need one. Juice, of course. It's still VERY early! I just told my friend Padded CEll Princess I'm as sober as six priests on Sunday. Now, you know what that means, right?

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  17. inshALLAH you will end up with a person that understands you and has the strong character that you appreciate.

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  18. Well, we're all what we are, we need the other party if only to keep our species from going extinct, and that said some might want to know that it's actually hot water that reduces sperm count.

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  19. RCB
    You've been very busy yeah. I kinda know what sober means... although I know many MANY people who don't :D

    bayezid
    I hope so too. Ameen to that!

    Candide
    Hahaha @ the Hot water and sperm talk. And yes, men and women need each other more than either care to admit!

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  20. I agree with Deidre. Your 10 reasons can't be based on penile-fixation or else it negates your 10 reasons. There are many great reasons to be a woman in-and-of-itself. For example: Being soft and pleasant, having farts be actually funny and not just gross, not pooping (because women don't poop, their waste turns into butterflies), being able to see the nuanced sides of any given issue, the whole baby-gestation thing, empathy, and so on.

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  21. I've learned something today from your friend Candide: 'it's actually hot water that reduces sperm count.' Want some tea?

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  22. Pickelope
    This was meant to be more of a satirical take on why it's to be a woman.

    Candide
    Nice :)

    RCB
    I love it when we can learn from each other ;)

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  23. Why, thank you, Candide. :) (Where are my emoticons!)

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