When I was much younger, I used to watch a British show called Mind Your Language on one of our local television channels. Back then, I never ever thought I'd be living my very own version of the show on a daily basis.
As it is, my French-speaking students can't pronounce the letter "H". I get this quite often:
Student: Teacher, I'm angry.
Me: Why, what happened?
Student: I'm angry, I want to go to the canteen for lunch.
Me: You mean you're hungry.
Student: Yes, angry.
Me: No, Hungry...
Me: Hungry, say it with me Hung-gry.
Me: HUNGRY... H-Hungry
Me: Never-mind, go for lunch.
And then there are other times when I put my fair share of heart and soul in a lesson, only to be undermined by Commercialism:
Student: Teacher, you told us that we can't express emotion or sentiment when we use the continuous tense.
Me: Yes that's true. For example, I can't say I'm prefering coffee. I'd have to say I prefer coffee.
Student: So why does McDonald's say "I'm loving it"?
Then there are times, when I just can't contain myself, and I end up laughing at them. I laugh. Out loud. At them. Much to their incredulity and bewilderment:
Me: Ok, Manuela, make a sentence using the word "stockings".
Manuela: I put my stockings in the computer.
Me: What is that?
Manuela: The stockings, I put the stockings, the numbers, in the computer.
Me: That is stock-taking. Stockings... panty-hose. Antonio, can you make a sentence using the words "contact lenses".
Antonio: Ok. I sign the contact lenses.
Me: That's a contract, you wear contact lenses.
Suffice to say on most days, I feel like the worst teacher ever. It never lasts long though.