There was a time, a few years ago in my pre-blogger days, where I went through a very tough period in my personal life between April and May of that year. I’ve found that every year since then, around this time of the year, I still feel an odd sense of uneasiness... kinda like some sick twisted post traumatic disorder.
It usually begins right after my birthday, when the air gets significantly cooler. Then one morning, when the cool air is suddenly cold, I feel that familiar sense of dread creeping up on me... an anxiety I cannot explain. The feeling is exacerbated by the onset of Easter celebrations where weeks seem to melt into each other right into the month of May. I hate everything about April, particularly the way my soul feels like it’s sprawled on the ground, dying amongst all the bronze and gold Autumn leaves.
Obviously, the wise thing to do would be to re-program my mind and build new, happier and pleasant memories that would substitute all those awful memories and in a way, reclaim that part of my life (and that part of my year)... but who wants to be wise when you can have chocolate. There are some days when dwelling in a state of despair seems mandatory, but then I remember all the public holidays (and boy do we go all out with the public holidays here in SA) and an all-you-can-eat chocolate feast to look forward to... and that gets me through.
All our public holidays here in SA
But the thing about holidays is that they make you lazy. Especially when those days are cold and blistery and all you want to do is sleep all day or sit wrapped up in your cosiest blanket watching movies and eating everything where the main ingredient is fat.
That’s exactly how I feel. LAZY. We’ve had a good dose of public holidays this year, with an added holiday on the 18th of May to accommodate elections because our Government are so intent on getting us to vote, that any such day is deemed a public holiday. Not that we’re complaining.
Yesterday we celebrated “Freedom Day”. Not that most of SA actually cares. I always maintain that we... our generation (and I'm on the old side of "our generation") will never really know or comprehend what our parents and grandparents went through during the Apartheid era. Sure, at my age I experienced some unpleasant scenarios like being denied access to an all-white public swimming pool... but that pales in comparison to endless rioting and being shot at and running for your life. And that’s why it irks the shit out of me when some non-white asshole born in 1993 tells me that "we suffered"... yeah dude, you suffered because you grew up in a four bedroom house in Houghton – never mind what your parents and grandparents went through; or all the other people who went for weeks without food and had to walk miles for water. It's for this reason I refuse to talk about Apartheid. It's over. Done. We can never forget, but we also cannot undo what happened or fully comprehend the atrocities that occurred.
Anyways... I do wish they had made tomorrow, the 29th of April, a public holiday too so that the 25% of the population that are actually at work can have the day off to watch William and
Kate Catherine get married. And seeing as we are part of the Commonwealth and were colonised by the British all those years ago, I don’t see why we shouldn’t be afforded the privilege of watching the wedding in the comfort of our own homes.
It’s difficult to believe that there is so much foreign interest in the royal wedding... like it’s the event of the year that everyone has been waiting for. Personally, I couldn’t care less, but that could quickly change if they wanted to give me an invitation. And even then, I’d only attend if there was Halal food on the menu.
Of course I’d love to see how it all transpires... all that pomp and ceremony in these modern times inspire the same kind of awe and disgust one might get from watching a nuclear explosion detonate over a small defenceless city.
For now though, there's still some leftover chocolate Easter eggs and another long weekend to get through. Then gym-time resumes. Although, I suspect that I'm going to be completely useless in my personal and professional life until the end of May.