The one thing I always struggle to wrap my mind around is a male chauvinist pig. Worst still, is a male chauvinist pig that’s married and has the gall to try and pick up women like they're cheap whores. For some reason, every now and then, I have to meet some kind of MCP and they're always of the perverted-middle-aged-aka-Old-Bastard-married-Indian variety and they always hit on me... and no I don’t mean talking or those casual conversations that normal people have or even flirting or teasing playfully... I mean they ACTUALLY think that they have a chance to get their grubby paws all over me.
Aside from the prospect being an affront to ALL my senses (even those senses that I don’t possess) I find this to be the ultimate form of disrespect, not only for myself but for women-kind in general. Any man who disrespects me (and his wife) like that needs to be murdered. I never did like leftovers and I’m beginning to dislike old dried out biltong (beef jerky) too.
Now I’ve already complained about how most of the (Indian Muslim) guys here in SA go on like they’ve never seen women before. And naturally, this brings out the ruthless evil bitch in me. Hell hath no fury and I find that the best way to retaliate is to go right for the gut – that wonderfully inflated ego – and crush it like you would crush a crystal glass under the weight of a bowling ball.
Some of my favourite retaliatory quips are “women with asses like mine, don’t go for men with faces like yours” OR “sorry grandpa but I think you left your hearing aid and your manners at home” OR “I wouldn’t even piss on your teeth if your gums were on fire” OR the old trusty “Fuck Off”. Most times, I have to resist the urge to set them on fire and say “how you like me now?”.
It’s actually quite funny, but white men never ever hit on me - maybe it’s a cultural thing - or maybe this is South Africa and they’re all racist… who knows. Anyways, this fact solidified my belief that the concept of “The Gentleman” lives on, but that it only exists in Caucasian males. But alas, my theories were all shot to hell on a long distance phone call with my new Swedish aunt (well aunt doesn’t really cut it because she’s barely 5 years older than I am – but she is married to my uncle who happens to be only 3 years older than I am so aunt has to do).
So, on this long distance call to Copenhagen, my aunt kindly informed me that the case of “The Gentleman” is in fact a dying breed – most have already been declared and buried and most men, especially amongst the younger generations in Scandinavia are no different to our modern day assholes.
I was mildly devastated at this revelation that all the good men are dead and was about to dive head first into my jar of Nutella when she assured me that there are still some decent guys out there and that not all of them are sexual predators or pedophiles.
I spent the next few days wondering if previous generations of females had to worry about all the decent men being dead. I seriously doubt that. I don’t think that a hairy-pot-bellied-balding-ass ever propositioned my Grandmother like she was some kind of hooker. And even if there were one or two mofo’s like that, Grandma would have knocked them senseless with an iron rod (coz she was hardcore too and no one ever messed with her).
Such occurences (if any) were hush hush because back then, most people were decent folk. But at the same time, Grandma didn’t have it easy either. She had a demanding husband (as most men were at that time) who liked having things done his way. She had to be up early in the morning making his breakfast... followed by running his bath and taking out his clothes. And every evening she had to ensure the meal was prepared just the way he liked it and that he was a happy goat. Grandpa went out to work every day, providing for his family's needs. He came from the same breed that gave way to women. They were real men.
As I get older, the one thing that's become really apparent to me is that no matter how much we think we've progressed as a society, things haven’t changed all that much. In fact, if anything, they’ve just gotten worse. This world is a cruel place for most women and to survive, many have turned to Feminism to empower themselves. The problem with that is that while Feminism has its perks, it really hasn't done much for us...
See before, during the neolithic ages, man would club his woman over the head and drag her into the cave. BUT he was still the provider. He was still the protector, care taker and hunter. Fast forward a couple thousand years and imagine you're in the fifties where women were second class citizens of sorts - most of them homemakers multi-tasking, standing in the kitchen cooking impressive 7 course meals while knitting sweaters and waiting on their husbands. The men on the other hand would open doors for their ladies, carry the heavy baggage, buy them pretty dresses and bring home the food to put on the table. Women had huge roles to play as perfect housewives / mothers / nurses / teachers / chefs etc. etc. Men played the dominant figures in society... the upstanding-citizen-husband-slash-father roles.
BUT the man was STILL the provider, the protector, the hunter. Until Feminism came into the picture...
I find it somewhat ironic that these days, most men still expect that perfection from women and every woman herself is striving for it because someone somewhere decided that women aren't worthy if they cannot successfully juggle Wife-hood, Mother-hood and Career-hood. See, Feminism has put us on par with men... but it hasn't afforded us any of our previous privileges.
So essentially, Man STILL clubs woman over the head and drags her into the cave - only this time she's expected to open the cave door (and every other door that she comes across) while carrying the deer that she had to hunt for all by herself with some other groceries that she had to barter and steal; clean the cave AND see to a wailing baby that needs to be fed while caveman sits in a corner and complains about her cooking. Those women who have fought for equality never foresaw that being seen as "equal" doesn't necessarily mean you're respected. We really haven't done ourselves any favours have we...