There was a time, not so long ago, when I actually looked forward to getting married and having 6 kids. It was on my list of things to do. And then something changed and I no longer wanted a half-dozen kids. And then something broke and I woke up one day no longer wanting to get married. It's not that I'm ruling out marriage forever - if I met the right person tomorrow, it would surely happen. It's just that it's no longer something I actively want. Seeing how miserable most people are in their marriages doesn't exactly champion the cause.
Mother did not take this news well. Firstly, it seriously fucks up her hopes and aspirations for grandkids. And I'm no promiscuous singleton so no friends-with-benefits-or-any-other-shit-like-that-unless-he's-Damon-fucking-Salvatore-ok. Illegitimate offspring are definitely not on the agenda (I can barely stand the legitimate ones, lets not go to the other side of the tracks ok, I know, I'm a bitch like that). And ever since then, I have endured all sorts of lectures on the natural procession of life... about how it's different when the kids are your own blah blah blah.
In the meantime, I find myself in all sorts of precarious situations with various members of the opposite sex - again, not helping any cause here. The latest one confuses the shit out of me. Let's call him Sunday because that's the day he features prominently in my life. However, if it continues like this he's going to become Tuesday, the most boring
guy in my life day of my week.
Anyways, Sunday is a workaholic. To his defence, he doesn't have much choice in the matter and long hours at the office are an unfortunate norm. What this means for me is that I'm usually relegated to the end of his list of priorities - and I'm totally fine with that, it's not like we're dating or anything like that. We're just in the preliminary rounds of a somewhat important friendship of sorts.
So Sunday sends me a message at 11:30pm on Friday night. He had a hectic day and really wanted a cup of coffee. Specifically, he wanted me to make him a cup of coffee, at 11:30pm. Now three things bothered me about this. Firstly, I don't appreciate last minute meetings or invitations. Secondly, I wasn't keen on having him over at my place at that hour (even though I knew he had just left his office). And thirdly, it was a long hectic day and I had taken two painkillers earlier in the evening so even if I did acquiesce to his request, I was way too drowsy to entertain anyone.
And so I told him that I wasn't feeling too good and asked him if we couldn't reschedule for another day or evening. He said it was fine, but something felt off. Like he was angry with me or something. I sent him another message the following day suggesting a time when we could have coffee together and received no response. I sent another one a few hours later (y'know, in case for some reason he didn't receive it) and... nothing. At this point I was annoyed, but still polite enough to text him and ask him if he's angry with me. Still, nothing.
By then I felt bad because I'm a considerate and sensitive asshole-masochist like that. So I made him an entire pot of coffee and bought some cake at the local bakery and delivered it to his place where it was welcomed by one of his house-mates. And then still... no answer from him.
Irritated, I thought to myself, "Fuck him" and responded to an invitation from Thursday (another guy). And then, almost a day later, while I was chatting to Monday via telephone, Sunday messages me to say that he's been swamped with work and that he's not angry with me. And I was like WTF? It took him an entire day just to send that teeny tiny response? Am I missing something? Or maybe he really was very busy - too busy to respond. But I can't help feeling that not even suave Mr. Friday would have done that to me.
I'm not equipped to play these games. I don't know what he wants. In fact, I don't know what any man wants. And I can't be bothered to put the effort into finding out anymore. Can anyone seriously blame me for not wanting to make this kind of childish behaviour a permanent fixture in my life? Oh man, I have stories, I could write a book...