DAD: (after graduation ceremony, reading the agenda) What's this "Cum Laude"?
ME: It means "With Honours", she graduated with honours
DAD: Oh is that it!? I thought that they were saying "Clap Louder" and I just saw everyone clapping louder, so I clapped louder too...
Mother: You girls are so boring…why don’t you go out somewhere…meet new people!
Teenage us: Ok, Fatima is having a get together at her place, can we go?
Mother: No.
Uncle: (to 4 year old Zaynub) Come inside the house, it's Magrieb and its getting dark
Zaynub: No Daddy, I want to play outside
Uncle: Come inside please?
Zaynub: No Boss
Uncle: Get in the house NOW!!
Zaynub: Nooooooo...
Uncle: Ok Zaynub, go...go and play outside please
Zaynub: No...
Uncle: PLEASE go and play outside
Zaynub: No!
Uncle: Please, just go and play outside, NOW!
Zaynub: NO, I want to stay inside!
MJ: my toes are smelly today - i think its these leather sandals
ME: pfft. lol. so many anonymous haters.
I dont know what some of these Hater cunts want from us MJ
MJ: jealous
think about it
they spend their time reading our shit
wishing they were like us
they are jealous of our big dicks
ME: LOL maybe... true...But I dont have a big dick :P
MJ: its ok - im sure it'l still grow
ME: LOL
Mother:(after one of my embarrassing ordeals) Is there no rock bottom to your seemingly endless bouts of humiliation?
Me: Apparently Not.
hahaha
ReplyDeletehow is the progress on the dick front?
Lmao that is classic!
ReplyDeleteonly mj
ReplyDeletei think i'm going to start dealing with my boss the way your uncle dealt with zaynab
Hahaha at the post! :P
ReplyDeleteAnd hahahahaha at Tazeen's comment! :P:P
they should bottle u up and sell u as "potion to get through work today" :)
ReplyDeleteParents and children the same everywhere in the world.
ReplyDeleteI get some link love :D
ReplyDeletegotta love that reverse psych :)
ReplyDeletehahaha...
ReplyDeletehahaha this was funny!! clap louder!!!
ReplyDeletecant really say which one i enjoyed most reading :D
Tazeen - It grows, slowly but surely :D
ReplyDeleteWIP - :D
Bibi-Aisha - That was classic, I witnessed it first hand and laughed for days after that.
JDee - :)
Noojie - If I'm gonna be bottled up for that, you have to be bottled up for "cute" :P
LL - I'm sure they are.
MJ - Of course :P
Fatima - Kids are amazing in that they have such huge personalities without even comprehending it.
T - :P
Mubi - That was really funny. My Dad is a real nut sometimes :D
Cool Mommy:)
ReplyDeletethe dick story is gold! lolol I should use that.
ReplyDeleteisheeta
Saaleha - My mom is waaay cool :D And sometimes my stupidity and humiliation is a great source of entertainment to her :D
ReplyDeleteMs - Yeah it is :D Its still growing :P
Hahaha I like the one with your mom: 'No.' It's almost like a magic word, isn't it? It's short and clear, especially when you're a teen and you want something from your parents. 'Mom, can I...?' 'NO.' And that's that. I sometimes wonder how often I'd use that special word myself if I were a parent. I've got a feeling too many parents want to be friends with their kids and say 'yes' all the time.
ReplyDelete