The Good: When I’m good, I’m fucking great…seriously, I’m not just tooting my own horn.
The Bad: I always see the good and the bad in people's characters...and I rarely trust them.
The Ugly: Hell Hath No Fury Like Azra Scorned.
The Good: I love my parents.
The Bad: They drive me insane.
The Ugly: I can’t afford to move out on my own so will probably have to endure their quirks for the rest of my life or until I get married...will then have to deal with the husband's quirks.
The Good: I want to travel the world.
The Bad: The current economic crisis is not going to make that any easier.
The Ugly: Being mistaken for a terrorist at every airport isn’t going to make that any easier either.
The Good: I’m currently being relentlessly pursued by a guy on Facebook.
The Bad: The only reason I entertain his conversations is because he hasn’t used the dreaded “S” (sweety) word yet and uses proper English…none of that mobile talk i.e. “u r so nyc, id lyk 2 c u”
The Ugly: He is 20 years old making me 6 years his Senior! I’m a lot of things, but a child molester isn’t one of them.
The Good: I’m going to pursue my MBA next year, iA.
The Bad: I have to choose between applying at NWU or for a scholarship at Amsterdam University.
The Ugly: Both application deadlines are in January, all personnel are on leave for Christmas so no one can process the application, both cost a fortune and there’s no guarantee that I’ll be successful.
The Good: I’m glad that I’ve had the opportunity to meet some very interesting, charming and intelligent people in the past year.
The Bad: I miss those friends that live in yonder…they were in my life for a brief time…but live on in my heart and on Facebook.
The Ugly: It will never be the same again for some of us. You get to a point where your friendship has reached the end of its life cycle and then its time to move on.
The Good: I managed to get rid of any toxic relationships/friendships that I had at a very early age.
The Bad: I somehow lament my wasted youth and often feel like I lost out in a lot of things.
The Ugly: “Regrets are a waste of time…they’re the past crippling you in the present” so there’s not much I can do about some things now.
The Good: I have a feeling that I will eventually get married,
The Bad: even though it doesn’t seem that way most of the time.
The Ugly: I feel sorry for the poor soul that has to endure my personality.
The Good: I want at least 4 kids…maybe 6 if I can afford it.
The Bad: Even though I’d love my kids to death, I’m a disciplinarian by nature.
The Ugly: My kids are eventually going to need therapy because their mother will try to be less controlling but won’t succeed because she loves them too much.
The Good: I’ll be a fantastic wife…devoted, honest, loyal, kind, compromising, accommodating, loving, nurturing, not materialistic or demanding, no nagging or tantrums etc. I’d climb mountains for him, walk through deserts, swim the deepest seas, move planets, cut my heart out…that kind of thing.
The Bad: I won’t tolerate substance abuse of any kind i.e. drugs and alcohol; Abuse of any kind i.e. physical, mental, emotional and MOST of all…Infidelity.
The Ugly: I don’t take too kindly to men who beat their women. In fact, if future hubby ever tried that shit with me, he’d probably land up in the ICU at Garden City Medi-Clinic because his wife tried to extract his spine from his rectum.
Azra becomes a demon at the mention of infidelity. She wouldn’t kill him; that would be too easy. But judging from what she would have in mind, he would be begging for death to envelope him. She would pretend that nothing happened for a full month…everything would be hunky dory while she gathers her ammunition and tools. She’d cancel any insurance that they had, especially on the house and household items and then one day, when everything has been bolted and the trap has been set, she would get him off-guard. She would begin his torture session by binding his hands to his feet, from the back with 2 sets of handcuffs…not the old ones with the chain in the middle…the ones with the steel shaft because there’d be no room for him to maneuver. Then she would peel the skin from his face with a carving knife and rub salt and lemon in the wounds. The scars on his face would serve as a reminder of his cheating ass every time he looked in the mirror. Then she’d clip 2 of those little clamps attached to 50 000 volts of electricity to his balls and proceed to shock the shit out of him at the exact times of the day or night that he engaged in his adulterous trysts. Then she’d dip his electrocuted shriveled winky in some crushed glass…like decorating a biscuit. Then she’d wash his body with petroleum and set him on fire…just long enough to suffer damaging burns. He would suffer a week for every day he was unfaithful…a week of fun and games for every day he pranced around arrogantly thinking that he could do as he pleases and that he would get away with it. Of course she’d stop occasionally to feed him and give him water…she wants him alive and well enough to remember everything. When the time is up…anywhere between one week and 10 months later…or longer…depending on how guilty he felt during his rendezvous’ to bring it to an end…she would take his battered body in a wheelbarrow and place him in a strategic location so that he can watch his house burn down with 2 tons of Hydrogen…the most volatile gas around that emits a colourless flame. There’d be no insurance pay-out since the insurance was cancelled a few weeks earlier and all his possessions would perish in the fire. She would of course plead temporary insanity, but then there would be no need because she knows all the right people :D