Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Whats in the Bag?
I've never been a huge “handbag” girl. I don’t actually like schlepping things around in an oversized sack made of leather or some other textile decorated with all sorts of trimmings and embellishments. But there are various aspects of adulthood that we just can’t avoid.
So I eventually became a participant of the whole burden-your-right-shoulder-movement and these days I find that I carry so much of my life in my bag that I’m sure it must be illegal. I’ve been rummaging through it the whole morning, having a few hours to spare because it’s my “pretend-to-work” day, and I can’t believe the shit I carry around with me on a daily basis. Here’s a summary of what lies in my treasure chest and my justifications behind them:
My Purse (Must have item; to store 2 credit cards, bank card, garage card & anything that translates into cold hard cash with a 5 digit number and a smile).
Two Cell Phone’s (Because one is not enough…1 is the designated radio, the other is Internet savvy).
Two Cell Phone Chargers (Because there’d be no point in having 2 phones that I can’t use).
My ID Book (An aid to get some more money…in case they need it at the bank).
Bettaway Multivitamins for Women (No more fainting spells).
Company Access Card (Because it provides easy access to my prison cell).
Jab We Met on DVD (Because it’s my Salaam Namaste for this year).
High Performance Duct Tape (Because I'm a Freak and who knows what or who you may need to tape down).
A 2GB USB Flash Drive (Because I save every little thing I do on the Microsoft Suite).
Biogen 5HTP Neuro (Because I have a depressive streak and there’s nothing like Serotonin on the go).
One Fake Pair of Chanel Sunglasses (Because it’s as good as the real thing at a fraction of the price).
A Tube of Pritt Superglue (Because it has magical powers and can glue anything together).
Hermesetas Sweetner (Swiss made, no Cyclamates or Aspartame – Because I’m off sugar and I don’t need Cancer).
Colgate Floss (Because I like clean teeth and I’m secretly addicted).
8 Library Cards from 2 Different Libraries (Because I still read, don’t buy books and need variety).
4 Med Lemon Sachets (Because its the ultimate virus buster...and I’m always 2 people away from catching a virus).
Sinucon tablets (Because sinuses are a part of my everyday life).
Debonairs Pizza Takeaway Menu (Because it’s on the way home and I can call and preorder and not wait an hour on collection).
A packet of White Cheddar Jumping Jack Popcorn (Because it's a snack on the run and another addiction).
One iPod (When I’m not in the mood to read or sit on the Internet).
An Envelope filled with at least 30 ABSA deposit slips (Because Azra banks on the Internet and hates standing in queues for other people who have to fill out stupid forms first).
One Bottle of Burberry London Weekend (Because it reminds me of London and I like the smell of the weekend mixed with excitement).
1 Always Ultra Pad (Because PMS, like Murphy, is a Bitch that creeps up on you at the most inconvenient time and in the weirdest places).
1 Pair of Phillips Earphones (Backup if anything happened to the iPod’s earphones).
2 Blue/1 Black Pilot G-2 Pens (Because they glide on paper like a skater on ice and you can never have too many pens on hand).
A half-pack of Mint Airways (Because sometimes the Sinucon takes a while to kick in and it’s a quick-fix).
Personal Diary/Telephone book (Because all the information I could ever need still resides in a book…no device could ever compare).
A Printed CV (Because you never know who you may bump into).
1 Hair Clip (For emergencies only).
My Vanity Case (Includes Mascara, Eyeliner, Eye Drops, Lip Gloss, Lipstick, Eye Shadow, Tweezer, Another hair clip & Mirror. Because you never know where life may take you to e.g. Gate-crashing a party on the spur of the moment, or deciding to attend mini-Saturday on Wednesday night in Sandton Square).
Lunch box with Tuna, Ryvite, an Apple & Small Salad (Because a Girl needs to eat to have energy to type up shit on the blog).
So there you have it…all the crap that I have accumulated over the weeks, months and years… stuff that I have convinced myself that I cannot live without. I do occasionally leave the bag behind to rot in a corner, push a phone (the one with the Internet) into one bra-strap and a couple of folded monetary notes in the other and then go about enjoying my bag-less weekend …but I always end up needing something.