Land of milk and honey

So once upon a time, in the early days of the world... well, around 60 years ago actually, my late maternal Grandmother went out to work at a textile factory, making clothes, and got paid a measly R14.00 a week (South African Rand - ZAR). At that time, her rent was R6.00 a week and the rest of the money was spent on food for her 7 children and various other people in need that often lodged with the family.

To put things in perspective, today, US$1.00 will get you around R9.57; GB£1.00 around R14.40; and EUR€1.00 around R12.29.

And today, ZAR14.00 can barely buy a 340ml coke and a 40g packet of Lays... or a loaf of bread at around R11.00.

But back then, you could get quite a bit for R14. Bread was R0.07 cents a loaf, a couple of sweets went for R0.01 cent, and entry to to the public swimming pools cost around R0.05 cents. Mother and her siblings only received new clothes, which were usually hand-me-downs, twice a year. 

For someone who loves History as a subject of interest, this is beyond fascinating. Today, most people I know earn at least 50 times more a DAY, then what my Grandmother did in a WEEK. And while our lives are much more comfortable in these contemporary times, the people living in those times still lived. And they had far fewer problems than any of us have today. 

And perhaps this is why I love History so much... because I secretly believe that while life in the general sense was very difficult, it was also much simpler. People lived simply... life revolved around surviving, not acquiring. Materialism as we know it didn't exist back then, because the majority of every population were considered poor or working class. There were no ever-growing epic divides. 

Ironically, it was because of their lack of wealth that they had a better quality of life. I can't actually wrap my mind around it. Journeying through time captivates me endlessly. 

Speaking of captivating, here's a video (in colour) of what life was like in London in 1927 - long before most of us were even born. 

More vintage colour videos are available here.

A day in pictures...

Ever wonder what my work week looks like? Well, my day usually starts early... around 05:15am, which gives me just enough time to pray, get washed, brushed, dressed, and to down a huge mug of green-tea before bolting out of the door. And on most days, I'm well on my way by 06:00am... if I'm lucky. 

06:13am - A still sleepy Johannesburg waking up.

At the Gautrain station, waiting to catch the train. These are perfect filler time slots to put on a little eye-liner, mascara and lipgloss:

Twelve minutes later, and it's definitely no Piccadilly Circus... emerging from the Gautrain Station in Sandton:

A couple of minutes and a short walk means that I get to the office quite early and usually head straight for this:

07:05am - My first cup for the morning. Black, no milk or sugar:

08:26am - After greeting everyone, from security guards, to the cleaners and colleagues; and after checking emails and facebook, it's time to meet Ani, my BFF at work for breakfast - which incidentally is a boiled egg and a fruit, this day an apple:

A morning filled with phone calls, emails, meetings, chats, discussions, laughter, and moving between departments ensues. 

12:11pm - As a practicing Muslim, at some random point in time, which differs daily, I will find myself here:

01:06pm - Lunch with Ani, which I get from the Salad Bar and usually includes: tuna, beetroot, red kidney beans, butternut, zucchini, basil pesto, peppadews, cucumber, lettuce, carrots, green beans, tomatoes, baby potatoes, almonds, spinach and feta, coleslaw, etc. in various combinations daily.

I spend a substantial amount of time throughout the day hugging and kissing and loving my friends, because we're all psychotic and weirdos like that:

03:24pm - And it's time to start wrapping up the day... tying up a few things... having a quick laugh and chat... maybe another cup of coffee...

04:00pm - Pack up and off to home we go... and a half hour later, Johannesburg city winds down too:

05:14pm - Afternoon snack, before dinner. A slice of pastrami (which I put in the microwave for 30 seconds).

06:57pm - Bathed and in my polka dotted jammies (if not going to the gym), and keeping my feet warm in the cold living room... checking emails, facebook, twitter and relaxing into the evening:

And that's my Monday through Friday. Mostly :)

http://WWW - Weird, Weird World

You know that feeling... that feeling when you're waiting for that phone call or text message... and it seems to be taking forever to come through... and you're going near-insane anticipating that conversation... already feeling the butterflies wrestling in your tummy, while your heart races with Ferrari at the German Grand Prix?

Yeah? Well I don't have that. 

The only thing I do have is Google and their ridiculous listings. If the top search results are calculated based on the number of times certain key words are typed into the search box - and if this is a reflection of the society we're living in - the world is in serious trouble people:

Like, are women human? Sure they're not apes in dresses?

Because I really really want to be a Vampire when I grow up:

Is it illegal to kill ants? Like, will there be a trial?

And then, the super ridiculous:

Because strawberries were made for nipples:

No, only in public:

We need Penguins, like ASAP:

And my ultimate favourite: How can I get my girlfriend to tape her fingers together and pretend she's a dinosaur?

What's the most ridiculous search result you've gotten?

I just want to know your name

So a couple of months ago, while I was watching TV, I came across this Lays Potato Chips commercial:

Of course, I was immediately captivated. I wanted to know exactly who this Adonis was. However, my usual search tactics proved to be fruitless... with thousands of Lays commercials popping up from every country, in almost every language, but with absolutely no trace of him.

And so I embarked on the search for the Lays man. It began on Facebook and Twitter and eventually branched out; I was like an agent on the prowl. Still, weeks went by and all my initial leads dried up. It was then that I decided to take the next obvious step by filing a formal complaint with the company itself. 

It didn't take very long for someone at Simba/Frito-Lay to get back to me. I missed the first few phone calls, but in this week, one of their consultants called me at work. After taking all of my details, he inquired as to what the problem was exactly, expecting some kind of legitimate complaint regarding one of their products. The conversation went something like this:

Him: (typing furiously) Ma'am, can you kindly tell me the problem.

Me: Are you typing all of this?

Him: Yes I am ma'am... tell me the problem while I type it up.

Me: Make sure you get every word in ok? Right. My problem is that I'm trying to find the name of the guy in the Lays advert showing on tv...

Him: (typing) ... trying to find the name of the guy in the Lays advert on... the one on tv?

Me: Yes, the one on tv. Add to that: and if the company cannot reveal the name of the guy in the advert, kindly refer me to the advertising agency responsible for shooting and running the ad on tv...

Him: (still typing) ... and if the company cannot reveal the name...

Me: Yes exactly like that. 

Him: Is that all Ma'am? Are there any other problems?

Me: No, no problems. I just want to know his name. 

Him: (incredulous) Are you serious?

Me: As serious as a heart attack. Look, I just want to know the guys name ok. 

Him: (laughs for about 10 solid minutes) Oh man, I can't believe it. Why? What are you going to do? Stalk him?

Me: Why not? Have you seen him? And no, I'm not going to stalk him. I just.want.to.know.his.name.

Him: Why can't you look for me like that? I mean, I look like him too...

Me: My friend, if you looked like him, you'd be on TV and not on the other side of this conversation innit?

Him: (more laughter) Aw man, now how can you say such a thing?

Me: It's funny coz it's true.

The banter lasted for some time before he closed the call, telling me that all their conversations are recorded for quality purposes. 

But see, that wasn't good enough for me. I knew, I just KNEW that there was something I was missing, and I had a good think about it for a while. And then it hit me. The commercial is in Spanish (no African country except Equatorial Guinea and a few Northern parts of Morocco, speak Spanish)... so using my cunning wit and a few advanced searching skills, I typed in the right combination and voilà, it worked like a charm. 

Turns out that Willam Levy Gutiérrez was born on the 29th of August 1980 in Cojima, Cuba. He is a Cuban-American actor and a former model. He is also known as William Levy, has 2 kids with his ex-girlfriend and was voted one of the 50 most beautiful men in the world by People en Español:

And really, I just wanted to know his name.

El Mañana - The Morning

I wasn't paying attention... I rarely do when my ears are pre-occupied with my iPod Shuffle and I'm trying to put the previous nights events behind me. I continue singing and dancing animatedly in my head... and in my chair...

Mami, me gusta cuando me provocas

Tu pelo, tu piel y tu boca

Te mueves de pies a cabeza, 

como loca 

"Dammit this thing won't go any louder - they don't make them like they used to", I mutter. 

"What are you thinking of?", he asks me. "Excuse me?" I say, removing one of the pods from my ears... he pushes his chair closer to mine..."what are you thinking of?" he asks again. 

For a moment, I'm irritated. It's 06:47am in the morning and he's killing the song and my Mojo. Can't he leave all the deep meaningful philosophical questions for after 08:00am, when we're all pretending to work? 

"So?...", he clearly expects an answer. Exasperated, I say "nothing really, I'm trying NOT to think"... before re-plugging my naked ear, cranking it up to the good part, and continuing with my little solo...

Dicen que la música sigue y no para

Yo la miré directo a la cara

Y le dije que me siento hot, hot, hot

From the corner of my eye, I see his lips move... "Gosh, is he talking to me again?" I wonder, but try to ignore him. He sees this as an invitation to move closer and talk louder. But, I'm in my element...

Soltura nenita dale hasta el suelo

Mucho cal-

"Dammit, what do you want... you're ruining the BEST PART and killing my buzz", I say ripping out both earphones, looking at him impatiently. 

"I just wanted to say that you're dancing in your chair", he smirks. 

"And you think I don't know that, Einstein?", I retort.

"Well, I thought you didn't know... and... and... its a little funny", another smirk. 

"Good! Write a poem about it. See, now I have to start ALL OVER AGAIN, shit".

"Sorry", he says.

"Whatever, go away, talk to me later loser", I wave him off before pressing the play button...

Soltura nenita dale hasta el suelo

Mucho calor sudándote el cuello

I am usually, what I consider, a morning person... my day rarely starts after 5:00am and I'm at work by 06:30am on most days. But there are some mornings, when I just want to be left alone, to drown either in a novel, or in the lyrical world of my iPod. That kind of escape is the only thing that can mentally prepare me for the hectic day ahead. Some people just don't get this.